Tenerife Paradise Found: Your Dream Finca Awaits in Paraiso!
Tenerife Paradise Found? Hold on to Your Hats (and Your Expectations)! A Review of "Your Dream Finca in Paraiso!" - Messy, Honest, and REAL.
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to spill the tea (and maybe a little bit of sangria) on my recent trip to that "dream finca" in Paraiso, Tenerife. Let me tell you, the marketing machine spun some SERIOUS yarns, and I, ever the sucker for a "paradise found" promise, swallowed it hook, line, and sinker. Did I find paradise? Well, let's just say it's a more complex paradise than the glossy brochures depict.
SEO & Metadata Blitz (Before the Ramblings):
- Keywords: Tenerife, Paraiso, Finca, Hotel Review, Accessible Hotel, Spa, Swimming Pool, Restaurant, Wifi, Cleanliness, Safety, Family-Friendly, Luxury, Travel, Accommodation, Canary Islands, Restaurant Review, Wheelchair Accessible, Fitness Center, Massage, Sauna
- Metadata Description: A raw and honest review of "Tenerife Paradise Found: Your Dream Finca in Paraiso!" detailing accessibility, facilities, dining, services, and what it REALLY felt like to stay there. Includes personal anecdotes, quirks, and a healthy dose of skepticism.
Accessibility - The Good, The Bad, and the "Almost There":
They claim to be accessible. And in some ways, they are. The website mentions "Facilities for disabled guests," which got my hopes up. But let's be real, “accessible” can mean a whole LOT of things. 😜
- (Goodish): The elevator does exist! Praise the travel gods! And there are rooms designed for wheelchair users.
- (Meh): While the main areas (reception, restaurant) were mostly navigable, some of the pathways around the property? Ugh. Cobblestones, slightly uneven surfaces. My friend, Maria, who uses a wheelchair, struggled a bit – and trust me, Maria is a seasoned traveller.
- (Needs Improvement): I'm talking about the pool area. Beautiful views, yes, but getting to the pool? The signage could be better.
On-site Accessible Restaurants / Lounges - Food, Glorious…Accessibility?
- Restaurants: Again, mostly good. The main restaurant, where we ate most of our meals, had enough space between tables. The staff were generally accommodating, which is a BIG win.
- Lounges: The bar was a bit cramped, but you could squeeze through, just be prepared for bumping elbows.
Internet Access - The Eternal Struggle:
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! (Hallelujah!) YES, but… the Wi-Fi was spotty, especially in our room. Honestly, at times, I felt like I'd gone back to the dial-up era. I'm a blogger. I NEED internet. It was a minor panic every time I needed to upload a photo! And the "Internet [LAN]" which they also claim to have? I'm guessing it's an old cable lying in a drawer somewhere since I never actually saw it.
- Wi-Fi in public areas: Better, but still not AMAZING.
Things to Do - So Many Choices, So Little Time (and Sometimes, Little Luck):
Okay, so… let's talk about the fun stuff.
- **Ways to Relax: ** They've got the works: Body scrub, Body wrap, Fitness center, Foot bath, Gym/fitness, Massage, Pool with view, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]. You name it, they pretty much have it - or at least, claim to have it.
- The Body Wrap was actually pretty AMAZING… I mean, it was slightly awkward having someone slather goop all over my body, but the results were worth it. I actually fell asleep. My skin felt incredible afterwards!
- The Pool With The View. Oh, the pool… It was beautiful. Absolutely stunning. But a couple of things… Firstly, on the first day, there was a family of screaming children. I'm not being a snob – I like kids. But for crying out loud, I was trying to RELAX. 🌴 Then there was this weird thing on the Sauna… I went in, ready to sweat away my sins and general anxiety. But the wooden benches were HOT, and the aroma? Not quite "forest pine," you know? More like "slightly burnt wood with a hint of regret." I felt like I was in a giant, pine-scented oven.
- The Fitness Center. Okay, here's where I almost burst out laughing. The gym was… well, it WAS there. A treadmill that looked like it was from the 80s, some weights that might have seen the light of day, and a general air of neglect.
- The Spa. The Spa was… okay. The prices were pretty steep and I thought it was a little bit overpriced, I'm not gonna lie.
- But the view! Ah, the view. You see, the setting is magnificent, you're surrounded by lush vegetation and the ocean is shimmering in the distance, so if you can get past some of the slightly wonky details, you're in for a treat.
Rooms & Comfort – The "Almost Perfect" Edition:
- Available in all rooms: Air conditioning (a must!), hair dryer, in-room safe box (thank goodness!), Wi-Fi (when it's cooperating!)
- Bathrobes and Slippers: YES! A small, but important, luxury.
- Blackout Curtains: Essential for a good night's sleep (when the Wi-Fi isn't keeping you up).
- Non-smoking rooms: Thank heaven for small mercies.
- Extra-long bed: Praise be!
Cleanliness and Safety - A Mostly Reassuring Experience (with a few caveats):
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Good start!
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Reassuring in these times.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Another tick!
- Breakfast takeaway service: A nice perk for that lazy morning.
- Hand sanitizer: Everywhere!
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: They tried their best. I saw a few small groups of people trying to keep it in place.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: You could tell they were trying, which is always appreciated.
- Important caveat The room sanitization opt-out was available, to my surprise.
- I would like to see more signage in public areas.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking – A Culinary Adventure (With Ups and Downs):
- Restaurants and bars: There are several options on site, ranging from a casual pool bar to a fancy restaurant.
- A la carte in restaurant: The main restaurant had a pretty good selection, and enough options to suit all tastes.
- Breakfast [buffet]: Ah, the breakfast buffet! (See below.)
- Coffee/tea in restaurant: Decent.
- Happy hour: Always a winner!
- Poolside bar: Essential for those all-important midday cocktails.
- Room service [24-hour]: YES! Perfect for those late-night munchies.
- Snack bar: Good for a quick bite.
- Vegetarian restaurant: There was one vegetarian option, which was a welcome bonus.
The Breakfast Bar - A Saga in Itself:
Okay, so. The buffet breakfast was… an experience. Let me tell you, I'm a breakfast fiend. Pancakes, eggs, bacon, the works… I get so excited in the morning. On the first day, it was a glorious spread. Everything was fresh, well-presented and delicious. The coffee was flowing, the staff were attentive, and I swear, I almost shed a tear of joy.
But… and there's always a but… The second day? A definite downturn. The food wasn't as fresh. The pancakes were rubbery. The bacon was cold. The coffee was lukewarm. It was like they'd run out of the good stuff and had to make do with the leftovers. The service also wasn't as attentive that day. More staff, more energy! The rest of my stay was similar; one day great, the next one not so great. It was a rollercoaster of breakfast bliss and breakfast disappointment.
Services and Conveniences - The Usual Suspects (Plus a Few Surprises):
- Business facilities: They have them!
- Concierge: Helpful, but sometimes a bit slow.
- Currency exchange: Convenient.
- Daily housekeeping: Much appreciated.
- Doorman: A nice touch.
- Gift/souvenir shop: Fun for impulse buys.
- Laundry service: Essential.
- Luggage storage: Very useful.
- Safety deposit boxes: Always important.
- Smoking area: They have one.
- Terrace: Gorgeous!
For the Kids - Family-Friendly…ish:
- **Babysitting service
Okay, buckle up, buttercup! Because planning a "relaxing" trip to Tenerife… well, let’s just say it's a rollercoaster from the moment you Google "Finca Paraiso Tenerife" and see those idyllic pictures. Here’s my brutally honest, utterly messy, and hopefully hilarious itinerary. Prepare for chaos.
Tenerife Tantrums & Paradise (Maybe) - A Log of My Trip
Day 1: Arrival & The Great Luggage Lament
- Morning (7:00 AM): Wake up in, uh, where exactly? Oh yeah, my apartment, which looks like a hurricane ravaged it. Packing… let's just say I'm an "organized chaos" kind of person. Or rather, a "I'll-sort-it-out-later-when-panic-sets-in" person.
- Morning (10:00 AM): Airport. The usual security theatre. Someone always has a water bottle they're shocked they have to throw away. I am not immune to getting flustered, and the lady behind me has been sighing for 20 minutes now. This isn't going well.
- Afternoon(12:00 PM): Flight to Tenerife. Airplanes are basically metal tubes filled with germy air and questionable pretzels. But hey, window seat = bragging rights.
- Afternoon (3:00 PM): LANDED! Hallelujah! Now for the luggage carousel…where my suitcase decided to take a detour to, I don't even know. Great start. This is absolutely fantastic. No, I'm fine. Really.
- Afternoon (4:30 PM): Finally tracked down said suitcase (it was apparently enjoying a spa day with some lost golf clubs). Found my rental car – which, despite being “compact”, feels suspiciously like a Smart Car. Let's find Finca Paraiso!
- Afternoon (5:30 PM): Lost. Google Maps is… optimistic. The roads are… narrow. The locals drive… enthusiastically. I'm pretty sure I just met a goat. Am I even near paradise?
- Evening (7:00 PM): Finally arrived at Finca Paraiso! The pictures don’t lie – it's stunning. Verdant, peaceful… and currently occupied by a family of very loud, very enthusiastic children and their, well, also loud parents. Welcoming, nonetheless.
- Evening (8:00 PM): Unpack (mostly) and collapse on the bed. This is going to be harder than I thought.
Day 2: Teide Trek & The Tapas Tango
- Morning (8:00 AM): Woke up. Sun. Birds chirping. Still in a state of minor suitcase-related trauma.
- Morning (9:00 AM): Breakfast. The Finca provides a basket of goodies. Bread. Jam. Coffee. Suddenly remembering I didn't get any real food before coming.
- Morning (10:00 AM): Drive to Mount Teide National Park. Scenery? Jaw-dropping. The sort of landscape that makes you feel tiny… and slightly intimidated. Altitude sickness is a real thing, by the way. I swear, I slightly saw a giant lizard. Or a rock. Hard to tell.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM): The cable car! Wow. The views are incredible. People are pushing, jostling, and generally being tourists. Reminds me of a scene out of Star Wars.
- Afternoon (2:00 PM): Hiking. My lungs are screaming. My legs are burning. But the view from the top… worth it. Almost.
- Afternoon (4:00 PM): Driving back. Absolutely knackered. Definitely needing a cold one.
- Evening (7:00 PM): Tapas Time! Found a local restaurant in a tiny village. Trying to speak Spanish with a confidence I definitely don't possess. Ordered way too much food, mostly because I have no idea what anything is unless I've had it before. The wrinkled potato dish is AMAZING. The fried octopus? Less so. Texture, I have problems with.
- Evening (9:00 PM): Fell asleep on the couch. Jet lag is a monster.
Day 3: Poolside Bliss (and a bit of a breakdown)
- Morning (9:00 AM): Woke up again. Trying to embrace the "relaxation" aspect. I am getting a sunburn while lying in the shade.
- Morning (10:00 AM): Poolside! Finally. Floating, sunbathing. Bliss. Suddenly, a child starts screaming. Another one joins in. Then, their father. I feel my stress levels rising. I miss the peaceful quiet, the one thing the brochure promised. This is not a spa; it is a playschool in paradise.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM): Lunch (made myself this time, sandwiches, because after the tapas, I could not).
- Afternoon (2:00 PM): I'm starting to feel a major shift. And by major, I mean wanting to scream. I did some yoga, then sat on the balcony and, um, cried.
- Afternoon (3:00 PM): OKAY. Deep breaths. I'm on vacation. I'm in Tenerife. Everything is going to be fine. I need to remember that it's supposed to be fun. Now. I'm so much more relaxed, honestly.
- Afternoon (4:00 PM): Decided to do something for myself. I went to the market and bought some fruit.
- Evening (6:00 PM): Cooking dinner, still terrible at it. Burnt the garlic. Somehow, the food is still delicious.
- Evening (8:00 PM): Reading a book. Finally, some peace and quiet.
Day 4: Whale Watching & Water-Related Trauma
- Morning (8:00 AM): Slept in. Success!
- Morning (9:00 AM): Packing a bag for the sailing! Got seasick already, and I haven't even left.
- Morning (11:00 AM): Whale watching tour. The ocean is… choppy. I'm pretty sure I saw a whale spouting off towards me. The crew made sure I was "hydrated" for the sea.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM): Spectacular! The whales and dolphins were amazing. One dolphin breached, and I nearly fell into the ocean. Sea water, I could not.
- Afternoon (3:00 PM): Arrived back at the Finca. Ready to just swim, eat, and sleep.
- Evening (7:00 PM): Realizing that I might have burnt myself a little too much. Sunburn isn't fun or sexy.
- Evening (8:00 PM): Thinking about leaving already.
Day 5: Departure & The Great Realization
- Morning (7:00 AM): Wake up. Pack. This time, I know where I'm going.
- Morning (8:00 AM): Final breakfast. Said goodbye to the crazy family.
- Morning (9:00 AM): Drive to the airport. Roads are easier this time, I can handle this.
- Afternoon (12:00 PM): Flight home. Tired. But I survived.
- Afternoon (3:00 PM): Luggage check (miraculously, it appeared with me this time!).
- Afternoon (4:00 PM): Found that my phone lost all of the pictures, but got it back from the airport, so that was a relief.
- Evening (6:00 PM): Collapsed on my sofa, exhausted but happy.
The Verdict:
Tenerife? Beautiful. Finca Paraiso? Charming, despite the noise. The trip? A rollercoaster. Did I relax? Debatable. Would I do it again? Absolutely. Maybe I'll even learn to speak Spanish, one day. And pack better. And maybe bring earplugs. And a different suitcase. But that's the beauty of it, right? The glorious, messy, unpredictable reality of travel. The whole darn thing. And I wouldn't have it any other way. Now, time for a very long nap.
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Tenerife Paradise – Found?! Okay, Here's the Lowdown (and My Panic Attacks)
Is this... the *real* Tenerife Paradise? I mean, it looks too good to be true. What's the catch?
Okay, let's be brutally honest. When I first saw the photos, I thought the same thing. Like, "Is this photoshopped? Is there a hidden landfill next door?" There *is* a catch, kinda. It’s not perfectly flawless. I swear, the first time I arrived, my brain short-circuited a little. The view? Jaw-dropping. The air? Like, actually *clean*. But then… the drive. The winding roads! If you're prone to motion sickness (like *moi*), stock up on Dramamine, honey. Seriously. And the internet? It’s, shall we say, "island speed." Think dial-up but with more frustration. So, yes, it’s amazing… but embrace the imperfections, because they're what make it real. And, truth be told, the slower internet forced me to *relax*... which was probably what I needed.
What's the finca *actually* like? I mean, besides "paradise," tell us *details*!
Okay, picture this: a stone-built house, old, but beautifully renovated. Thick walls, so it stays cool even when the sun's doing its fiery thing. Inside? Rustic charm meets modern (ish) comforts. Fully equipped kitchen (yes!), comfy beds (mostly), and a living room with a *view*... I’m getting emotional just thinking about it. The pool? Glorious. But here's the thing I wasn't expecting: the *silence*. Like, actual, soul-soothing silence. Except for the occasional chirping of birds and the rustle of the banana leaves. I practically wept when I first sat on the terrace with a coffee. Seriously. The garden’s a riot of color. Bougainvillea everywhere! And… okay, I confess, I spent a solid hour chasing a rogue gecko out of the bathroom. They’re cute, until they’re in your shower! But overall? Magical.
Is it kid-friendly? We’ve got a couple of little terrors (I mean, *angels*).
Hmm, "kid-friendly" is a loaded question, isn't it? There's a pool, which is a huge draw (supervised, of course!). There's space to run around. The garden is amazing for exploring. HOWEVER… there are some steep drop-offs (mountainous terrain remember!), and the house is old and with all the charm, it also means stairs and potential hazards. Ultimately, it depends on *your* kids. Are they generally good at following instructions? Can you keep a careful watch on them? I'd say it's definitely doable, but not a "set-it-and-forget-it" kind of place. You'll be a mindful parent, which you probably already are, or at least are trying to be. Pack the bubble bath and the first-aid kit. And maybe a bottle of wine for *you*... especially after a full day of kid-wrangling. Trust me, you'll need it.
What are the "day trip" options? We like to explore!
Listen. This is where Tenerife *shines*. Teide National Park is a MUST. The volcano? Insane. The views are from another planet. Seriously. Take a jacket, even if it looks sunny down below - the mountain *will* get you. And the stargazing at night? Unforgettable. Then there’s the beaches. Playa de las Teresitas? Gorgeous. Black sand beaches in the north? Dramatic. Charming towns like La Laguna, a UNESCO World Heritage site? Absolutely worth a wander. I will say, driving on Tenerife can be… interesting. Those mountain roads are a bit of a white-knuckle experience at times. Be prepared for hairpin turns and a general sense of "are we there yet?" But the scenery? Worth it, every single time. Just breathe, and take it slow. It's paradise, remember?
I’m a foodie. What about the food scene?
OMG, the food. Forget everything you think you know about bland tourist fare. Tenerife is a culinary gem! Fresh seafood, of course (try the *vieja* – parrotfish – if you're feeling adventurous). Potatoes with mojo sauce (those sauces are addictive!). Goat cheese. Local wine. Heaven. Now, the best part? The local *guachinches*. These are little family-run restaurants, often tucked away in the hills, that serve simple, delicious, and incredibly cheap food. Finding them? That's the adventure! (Ask a local, they're the best source). Don't go expecting Michelin stars. Go expecting authentic, honest food that will make your taste buds sing. And be prepared to loosen your belt a notch or two. It's inevitable, and completely worth it. Seriously. My biggest regret? Not learning more Spanish before I went. Gestures, pointing, and a lot of smiling go a long way, but trying to order a complex meal in broken Spanish is part of the fun!
What about grocery shopping? Is it easy to self-cater at the finca?
Yes! It is easy to self-cater. There are supermarkets (like Mercadona and Hiperdino) on the island. They’re well-stocked and have pretty much everything you'd need. The finca has a good kitchen, which makes it easy to make meals. The real treats, though, are the local markets! Fresh produce galore – tomatoes that actually *taste* like tomatoes, avocados that are perfectly ripe, and so many types of bananas it's overwhelming (in a good way!). The only slight hitch? You might need a car to get to the bigger supermarkets. But honestly, that drive is part of the fun. Think of it as food-sourcing adventure. And sometimes, you'll find a little local *tienda* nearby that's super convenient. Definitely stock up on supplies before heading back to the finca, so you don’t have to leave and, well, I recommend buying everything you need for the first few days. Then, you can settle in and start making plans for your next culinary escapade.
Can you tell us more about the "silence" at the finca? I'm a bit of a city dweller. Is it *too* quiet?
Okay, let’s talk about the silence. The first night I spent there, I was… *uneasy*. I'm used to the constant hum of traffic, the distant sirens, the general urban symphony. Here? Nothing. Just the wind rustling through the banana trees, the occasional chirp of a bird, and… the beating of my own heart. It took a while to adjust. I’m talking, like, a *significant* adjustment. At first, I was hyper-aware of every little noise – or lack thereof. I found myself checking the locks (multiple times). But then…Best Hotels Blog
