Unbelievable Tenerife Views: Hotel Alta Montana Awaits!
Unbelievable Tenerife Views: Hotel Alta Montana Awaits! – A Review That’s Honestly All Over the Place
Okay, so, Tenerife. Stunning. I’d been dreaming about those volcanic landscapes and that glorious sunshine for ages. And the promise of Hotel Alta Montana? “Unbelievable views” – that’s what the brochure screamed. And honestly? It mostly delivered. Let’s dive in, shall we? This might get a little… meandering. Buckle up.
First Impressions & Accessibility - The (Mostly) Good, The Slightly Sketchy
Right off the bat, I’m always looking for accessibility. I’m not, personally, wheelchair-bound, but I do appreciate a hotel that gets it. Hotel Alta Montana, thankfully, seems to be trying. The elevator (a crucial point) was there and functioning, so that's a win. I'm also a fan of the Elevator being present. That's just good design in my book. However, a few ramps could have been smoother. It's not a glaring issue, but someone with more serious mobility requirements might struggle in a few spots. They get points for trying – let's call it a solid B- on this one. Facilities for disabled guests were listed. They just could stand for a bit of fine-tuning.
Internet & Tech – Ah, The Modern World… Mostly
Alright, let's talk internet. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! YES! And it actually worked most of the time. A lifesaver for someone like me who's practically glued to their phone. I'm a sucker for Internet access [LAN] but I didn't even bother. Internet Services were also available. I think that covers everything on the "internet" front. The Wi-Fi in the Rooms was more reliable than the Wi-Fi in the Public areas cough cough occasionally slow. That's life, though, right? Small price to pay for those breathtaking views.
Cleanliness and Safety – This is Where It Gets Seriously Impressive
Okay, listen up. I’m a bit of a germaphobe, especially after the last few years. I'm always on the lookout for hand sanitizer and all that jazz. This hotel nailed this. Anti-viral cleaning products are a big plus for me, and were definitely a thing. The staff was constantly cleaning. I swear, I saw them washing the door handles every other hour! Daily disinfection in common areas? Check. Rooms sanitized between stays? Apparently! And honestly, the whole place felt clean. Seeing Staff trained in safety protocol gave me peace of mind. I even spotted the Sterilizing equipment, which, strangely, put me at ease. Hand sanitizer was everywhere! Safe dining setup - they were playing it safe.
There's something about the way they handled safety that just really hit the mark. It put me at ease. Big, big points there. I loved the Cashless payment service, too, because, let's be honest, dealing with cash is just… bleh.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking – A Buffet Bonanza (Mostly)
Okay, the food. Listen, I'm a simple person. I like food. And Hotel Alta Montana had food. Restaurants were everywhere. The Buffet in restaurant was a beast. I mean, a massive beast. And, you know what? It was pretty good! Okay, it was really good. Western Breakfast was particularly amazing, but I also explored the Asian cuisine in the restaurant. There was so much choice!
The Poolside bar was, well, perfect. Imagine this: a cocktail, the sun on your skin, that view… pure bliss. Poolside bar was exactly what was needed.
The only snag? The Happy hour wasn't quite as… happy… as it could have been. Drinks felt a touch overpriced, but the view more than made up for it, especially the soup and the salad. I was surprised to find a Vegetarian Restaurant and a Soup in Restaurant option, good additions.
Rooms – Ah, Those Views… And The Blackout Curtains!
My room? Oh, the room. It wasn't just a room; it was a sanctuary. Air conditioning was a godsend! Blackout curtains… genius! I slept like a rock. The bed was supremely comfortable, Extra long bed. I am tall, and that extra length was worth every penny. Having Free bottled water was a nice touch.
The view from my balcony was, well, as advertised. Unbelievable. I’m not exaggerating; it took my breath away every single morning. Watching the sunrise over the mountains with a cup of coffee… that's the simple stuff that makes life worth living. Even the Mirror was well-positioned. I used it.
Services and Conveniences – The Little Things Matter
Everything you'd expect (and need) was there. The Concierge was a lifesaver – helpful, friendly, and always smiling, and so was the nice Doorman. I used the Laundry service (because, let's be honest, I'm on vacation!). The Daily housekeeping was impeccable. The Luggage storage was really easy. I'd recommend using those. Small things, but they all add up.
The Dry cleaning was a godsend!
Things To Do – Relaxation and More, Oh My!
Okay, let’s talk about relaxing. The Spa… oh, the spa. I indulged. I'm not usually one for pampering, but I figured, "Hey, I'm on vacation!" So, I went for the Body wrap. It was… weirdly wonderful. Honestly, I felt like a pampered little burrito, but hey, a Sauna and Steamroom sounded perfect, and were. I did the full monty and hit the Massage. Also, there was a Foot bath.
The Fitness center was a good addition. I used the Gym/fitness.
I'm a bit of a gym rat, and their version was pretty good. But… after all that relaxation, I was in no mood to work out.
The Swimming pool was heaven, especially the Pool with view.
For the Kids – Family-Friendly Vibes
I don't have kids, but from what I observed, the hotel seemed very family-friendly. They had a Babysitting service and even a few Kids facilities. Nice touch.
Getting Around – Easy Peasy
Getting around was a breeze. The Airport transfer made arrival and departure incredibly easy. I parked in the Car park [on-site] to get to my rooms and leave my cars there.
Overall – The Verdict, With a Side of Rambling
Look, Hotel Alta Montana isn’t perfect. No place is. But it's damn good. The views are unbelievable. The cleanliness is top-notch. The staff is lovely. And for me, the experience was overwhelmingly positive. Does it have room for improvement? Sure. But that won't stop me from going back.
This hotel is a solid recommendable, with my own notes and advice.
Tres Marias Vila Nova de Milfontes: Portugal's Hidden Gem Awaits!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your perfectly curated Instagram travel account. This is real travel, and it’s gonna be a little… messy. Welcome to my Hotel Alta Montana Tenerife adventure, likely riddled with sunburn, questionable food choices, and the kind of existential dread that only a volcano can inspire. Here goes…
Day 1: Arrival & Altitude Anxiety (aka, Where Did I Leave My Sanity?)
- Morning (or what passes for "morning" after a red-eye): Landed in Tenerife South. Immediate assessment: sun. A LOT of sun. And a dizzying amount of tourist shops hawking inflatable flamingos that frankly, offend my artistic sensibilities. Getting through customs was a near-death experience. The lady at the desk looked like she hadn't slept since the fall of the Roman Empire, and she glared at my passport like it personally insulted her.
- Late Morning/Early Afternoon: Taxi ride to Hotel Alta Montana. (Side note: Spanish taxi drivers seem to have a secret pact to drive like they're auditioning for the next Fast and Furious movie.) The hotel itself is… charming. Picture a Swiss chalet got freaky with a Spanish villa. The air is crisp, the views are breathtaking (literally – I’m pretty sure I'm already short of breath just from the altitude), and the lobby smells vaguely of pine cleaner and old euros.
- Lunch Time: Found the hotel restaurant. Ordered what I thought was a safe bet: "ensalada." Turns out, "ensalada" in Tenerife means "a mountain of iceberg lettuce, some sad tomatoes, and a suspicious amount of canned tuna." I ate it anyway. Desperate times, folks. Desperate times.
- Afternoon: Explored the immediate surroundings. Found a cute little church, where, in a moment of profound culture shock (and the jet lag kicking in) I took a picture of myself in this old church. The locals looked at me like I had three heads. Then, back to the hotel and collapsed. Altitude sickness is no joke, and my head feels like it's being used as a bong. Did I mention the view from my balcony? STUNNING. Like, truly, undeniably gorgeous. Volcano Teide looms, a silent, potentially-eruption-ready behemoth. It's a little intimidating, honestly.
- Evening: Dinner: Ate the best grilled fish of my life! And drank some lovely wine. Feeling a little more human now.
Day 2: The Volcano Hike (or, How I Almost Died For a View)
- Morning: (Slightly) recovered from altitude sickness. Determined to conquer Teide National Park. This was my big, ambitious, "look at me, I'm a real traveler!" day. Booked a tour, which, let's be honest, felt a little like cheating. I’m not a hiker. I'm a “hike from the couch to the fridge” kind of person. This was going to be brutal.
- Mid-Morning: The tour bus. Filled with other, equally terrified tourists. Our guide, a lovely woman named Maria, who looks like she could probably bench-press a small car, gave us the lowdown. "The air is thin, the sun is strong, and if you fall, well, good luck, because I’m not carrying you." Inspiring, right?
- The Hike: Okay, listen. This was hard. My legs were screaming. My lungs were begging for mercy. The scenery, though… indescribably gorgeous. Like, the kind of beauty that makes you forget, momentarily, that you're in physical agony. The volcanic landscape is other-worldly. We're talking lava flows, surreal rock formations, and this overwhelming sense of… insignificance. The sheer scale just hits you. And the air! Crisp, clean, and… did I mention, thin? I drank a lot of water, I took a lot of breaks. I almost cried. But I kept going.
- Lunch Break: Sandwiches had. Needed some energy now. And some more water. And now, I think to myself: why did I do this again?
- Afternoon/ The Summit (the best part) : Made it! The view from the summit was utterly, completely, gloriously worth ALL the struggle. You could see for miles. The clouds looked like fluffy cotton candy. The air was, admittedly, super thin, but oh so worth it. There was a moment of pure, unadulterated awe. Then, the descent. Which was… less dramatic. Mostly because my legs were already jelly.
- Evening: Back at the hotel, collapsed in a heap on the bed. Dinner in the hotel again. Another great meal. Slept really well.
Day 3: Beach Day & Existential Dread (aka, The Sea, The Sun, & My Crumbling Sense of Self)
- Morning: Decided beach day was in order. Needed beach day. It was time to recharge. Found a gorgeous beach with black sand (volcanic, of course!). Put on my sunscreen, and grabbed my sunglasses. Ready for some relaxation.
- Mid-Morning: Finding a spot in the beach can be stressful. This beach was packed. Found a decent spot and spent the morning being annoyed by other people.
- Lunch: Ordered some Paella. It was good. Ate it.
- Afternoon: Got a little too much sun. This is my fault. Now, my skin feels tight, and I may be developing a slight lobster-like hue. Spent the afternoon people-watching, trying to decipher the meaning of life from the way a little kid built a sandcastle. Contemplated my existence.
- Evening: Dinner at a little restaurant by the beach. Gorgeous views. The sunset paints the sky with oranges and reds. Feeling a bit melancholy. Thinking about things. Thinking hard. I really wonder if I was able to do this. And I know I did. And I feel so good.
- Late Evening: Back at the hotel. Looking at the volcano again. The mountain looks ominous.
Day 4: Lost in Translation & Tapas Terror (aka, Is That a Brain?)
- Morning: Decided to try to find a local market. My Spanish is… let's say, emerging. Wandered the streets, got hopelessly lost, and somehow ended up in what I think was a fish market. The smell alone was an experience.
- Mid-Morning: Found a bakery. Pointed and smiled a lot. Acquired some pastries that looked delicious. Ate them. No regrets.
- Afternoon: Tapas tour. Booked a tapas tour. This was the kind of thing that seemed fun on paper, but in reality, involved me trying tiny portions of unidentified food while attempting to converse with strangers in a language I barely understood. One tapa looked suspiciously like a brain. I, bravely, tried it. It tasted… like something. I don't know what. That's probably for the best.
- Evening: Back at the hotel. Ordered room service. Felt like a real travel pro.
- Late Evening: Packing. The inevitable end is near. Also trying to decide what to have for breakfast.
Day 5: Departure & The Aftermath (aka, I Survived!)
- Morning: Final breakfast. Another questionable "ensalada." Said goodbye to the view. The volcano looks less intimidating today. Maybe it’s a sign.
- Mid-Morning: Taxi back to the airport. Reflecting on the trip. It was a lot.
- Afternoon: Boarded the plane. Watching the landscape disappear into the clouds. Feeling strangely… empty. Also, incredibly tired.
- Evening: Landed back home. Discovered I’d left my favorite book in the hotel room. Sunburnt. Slightly traumatized by the tapas. Already missing the views. And planning my return.
Hotel Alta Montana – The Verdict:
It's not perfect, by any measure. But it has its own beauty. The views are breathtaking. The air is crisp, and the people are kind. Tenerife is a wild, untamed place, a place that simultaneously inspires awe and makes you want to curl up in a ball and question all life choices. And that, my friends, is the magic of travel. Now, time to book my next adventure. And maybe, just maybe, learn some actual Spanish.
Escape to Paradise: Unforgettable Luxury at Alpenhotel Schlüssel, Andermatt
Seriously, what's the deal with the 'Unbelievable Tenerife Views' they keep blathering on about? Is it just marketing fluff?
Okay, so, *initially*, I rolled my eyes. "Unbelievable Views"? Every hotel promises that, right? My inner cynic was screaming. But then… I got *there*. And okay, maybe the marketing guys got it right, just this once. The views from Hotel Alta Montana? Yeah, they're… *unbelievable*. Like, I'm talking legit jaw-dropping, make-you-question-reality unbelievable. One day, I swear, I saw the peak of Teide poking through the clouds looking like some dragon's lair. For real, I almost tripped walking onto my balcony the first time, just completely gobsmacked.
Where *exactly* is this magical place? I'm not good with geography.
Alright, geography isn't my strong suit either. I'm more of a "point me in the direction of the sangria" kinda gal. But Hotel Alta Montana is tucked away in the mountains of Tenerife, which is one of the Canary Islands – off the coast of Africa! Think dramatic landscapes, volcanic vibes, and… you know those super Instagrammable clouds? Yeah, those are here. It's kind of remote, which is *amazing* for escaping the hordes. Seriously, you're not going to stumble upon it by accident, which keeps the crowds down. I got lost *once* trying to find it in a rental car, which, well, that's a story for another day. (Spoiler: I blame the tiny, slightly-misleading road signs and my horrific sense of direction.)
What are the rooms like? Are they as fancy as they look in the photos? (And are the beds comfy, because that's crucial.)
The rooms… okay, they're not *quite* the ridiculously polished perfection of the photos. There's a slight… lived-in feel? A tiny chipped tile here, a maybe-faded throw pillow there. But honestly? It's charming. It feels like a real place, not some shiny, sterile museum. And yes, the beds are GREAT. Seriously, I'm picky about beds. I’m like the Princess and the Pea but the Pea is a particularly annoying mattress indentation. These are *sleep-on-a-cloud*-level comfy. Major pro: You can open your balcony door and wake up to THAT VIEW. Worth every single penny. Though, I did accidentally spill coffee on the pristine white sheets one morning. Minor details.
Tell me about the pool. Is it crowded? Does it have a swim-up bar? (priorities, people!)
Okay, the pool. Yes, there is a pool. And yes, it's got the *view*. No swim-up bar, sadly. But the good news is: it's usually not *too* crowded. That's the beauty of being a bit off the beaten path, you see? You might have to share, but you can actually *swim* and not just tread water in a swirling mass of humanity. I love a good pool. I spent a solid afternoon just floating, staring at the sky, and plotting my next cocktail. It's pure bliss. And let me tell you, after hiking all morning, a dip in that pool is practically divine. There's nothing like it.
What about food? Is the hotel restaurant any good? I get hangry. Real hangry.
The food… hmmm. Okay, so the restaurant is not, like, Michelin-star quality. But it's good. Really good, actually. And the view from the restaurant? Even better. It's a simple menu, with local ingredients, and plenty of wine from the island (which, by the way, is fabulous). I had some perfectly grilled fish one night, and the next day, I had, like, five plates of their papas arrugadas with mojo sauce (those little wrinkly potatoes are addictive!). Okay, on the *very first night*, I may or may not have accidentally ordered something I couldn't identify. But it was still edible! And the breakfast buffet? Totally worth waking up for. Fresh fruit, local cheese, and strong coffee – a perfect way to start your day. I'd recommend trying the local wine. I might have have had a *few* glasses with dinner each night. No regrets!
Is there anything to DO besides just lounging around and admiring the scenery (which, admittedly, sounds heavenly)?
Okay, yes, *technically* you could spend your entire vacation just staring at the views. I won't judge. Seriously. I almost did. But if you're capable of moving, there's hiking! Lots of hiking, with trails of varying levels of difficulty. And the views, from the hiking trails? Even MORE unbelievable. I’m not the most athletic human being, to be frank – I'm *much* better at relaxing. I attempted the "easy" trail, and oh my GOODNESS, it was beautiful, and I'd recommend it. I took a wrong turn once and ended up clambering down some rocky terrain, covered in volcanic dust, questioning all my life choices. But hey, the view from the top? Absolutely worth it. (Just bring good shoes and a whole LOT of water.) It's a great way to work up an appetite for dinner, and afterwards, you can go back to lounging.
Is it easy to get around to see other parts of Tenerife from the hotel?
Well, that depends on your definition of "easy." I'd recommend renting a car if you want to explore the island. Public transport is… available, but it's not exactly the fastest option in the world. The roads are winding, and the driving can be a little *intense* at times (lots of narrow streets, steep drop-offs, and the occasional local who drives… with a little more passion than you're used to). I'm gonna be honest, I found it a *little* daunting. Especially after a few glasses of wine at dinner! But hey, the scenery is spectacular. I'm a terrible driver, and I still managed to get around! And the drive to the beach? Totally worth it.
Is it actually worth the hype? Would you go back?
Okay, the big question: Worth the hype? ABSOLUTELY. Without a doubt. I'm already scheming to go back. I'm even thinking about trying to go back *this year*. The views, the peace, the comfy beds, the wine… It's a perfect escape. I might even tryBoutique Inns
